DEATH OF AN APOSTROPHE

A day trip into London at Christmas…what could possibly go wrong?

Soaking up the festive atmosphere with Christmas decorations, beautiful window displays in department stores, the smell of roasted chestnuts…followed by a theatre performance.

I’d been looking forward to it for months.

But a proofreader is always a proofreader – there’s never a day off! And on the day I had my trip into London, this proofreader was constantly shocked by how badly the apostrophe was being misused! Or, to be more exact, not used AT ALL!

Why would a large department store NOT check they’d used apostrophes correctly in their signage?

How could a big-brand store have a concierge service but NOT use apostrophes?

Why WOULDN’T a theatre ask someone to check if they needed an apostrophe for their toilet signs?

I couldn't resist capturing the evidence!

Maybe, these companies had decided apostrophes are a thing of the past…‘it’s easier without them…people get confused anyway…no-one will even notice…’

Well, the Apostrophe Protection Society would have something to say about it! Their mission is “…to preserve the correct use of this important, though much misused, item of punctuation.” Its founder, John Richards, stated: "The little apostrophe deserves our protection. It is indeed a threatened species!" Bob McCalden, the chairman for the Apostrophe Protection Society, goes as far to say that the apostrophe is casually “abused and neglected!”

Keith Waterhouse, a renowned writer who proclaimed himself to be the Life President of the Association of the Annihilation of the Aberrant Apostrophe, would also be unimpressed with companies who have a complete disregard for the apostrophe.

He wrote: “The AAAA has two simple goals. Its first is to round up and confiscate superfluous apostrophes from, for example, fruit and vegetable stalls where potato's, tomato's and apple's are openly on sale. Its second is to redistribute as many as possible of these impounded apostrophes, restoring missing apostrophes where they have been lost, mislaid or deliberately hijacked.”

You can almost imagine apostrophes being rescued and correctly rehoused between letters!  

It’s very clear that out there, in the Language Wilderness, academics and opinionists are at war. They’re stuck in the trenches, shooting apostrophes across the wasteland with some missing their target and some causing a lot of collateral damage.

And what’s worse, the continued conflict - without a treaty in sight - causes continued confusion for everyone.

In September 2023, YouGov carried out a poll of 1,000 people who were given brands with and without apostrophes. From that poll, 50% of people said one of the companies was called “Levis” and only 45% chose “Levi’s”. It seems there's a lot of uncertainty about the crucial apostrophe!

Sadly, we’ve seen the death of the apostrophe in many brands over the years with it being completely left out when a company is born. But, we even saw Waterstones removing the apostrophe from its name in 2012.

Lynne Truss, the author of books such as ‘Eats, shoots and leaves’, publicly showed her disgust at the absence of an apostrophe when she stood in front of a cinema, advertising the forthcoming Harry Potter film incorrectly. She is known to have said: “Why did the Apostrophe Protection Society not have a militant wing? Could I start one? Where do you get balaclavas?” 

I'm forever surprised by companies who have completely disregarded the need for the apostrophe which has been in use in the English language since the early 16th century.

A few months ago, I was shopping for a baby's outfit; one was particularly cute with a giraffe on the front. But it read: LETS BE FRIENDS. Obviously, I just couldn’t buy it! 

I couldn’t let a newborn baby wear an outfit that’s grammatically incorrect!

So, what IS the future for the apostrophe?

While 8-year-olds are crying with despair because they don’t understand plural apostrophes, it seems the world around them can’t make up its mind: ‘are apostrophes here to stay or should we drop them’?

Is the apostrophe becoming an endangered species?

Are we in a position where, as Bob McCalden claimed, ‘ignorance and laziness present in modern times have won’?

I hope not.

In the meantime, I’m going to become a member of the Apostrophe Protection Society!

Are you?